


Oh Girl, You're The Devil

by SleeplessInGeneral



Series: No Place In Heaven [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Patton's journey to becoming an adult, includes the tiniest amount of slurs so consider yourselves warned, middle school kiddos are adorable, part one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessInGeneral/pseuds/SleeplessInGeneral
Summary: "Remy, if I'm… a homosexual… what do you think –""Woah. First of, to heck with it. This is not a religious circle, you can speak your mind freely.""Okay…""Second of, so what? Be gay, be merry, what's stopping you?"My family. "Nothing…"(Inspired by the MIKA song of the same name.)





	Oh Girl, You're The Devil

**Author's Note:**

> So... I finally wrote the first part to this collection, and fuck it if it didn't take me a while.
> 
> HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, Y'ALL!!
> 
> Well... this is part one in Patton's journey to becoming a mostly-functioning gay adult, as told by stories inspired by the MIKA album "No Place In Heaven". So, without further ado,  
> Allons-y!

"It's she. I'm having a girl day."

Patton had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but he was scared of Remy Campbell. So he thought maybe asking wouldn't be the best option.

"I'm so sorry, Remy…"

"It's okay, Patton. You didn't know. We're still friends, right gurl?"

Friends…? Gurl…?

"Remy, you're confusing him!" Roman Prince's boisterous voice broke from the surrounding crowd of students. "I'm so sorry about her, she's just being weird."

"I was just pointing out that I'm having a fem day –"

"And I'm just pointing out that I know Patton from church and he probably doesn't understand a word you're saying so either translate or lose his attention!"

Patton was dragged to class by the other two, utterly confused. He never met anyone like Remy before. Well, he did, he met Remy, but… with the days. He never met those before. He saw trans people before, definitely, but… those people weren't okay. According to his mom, at least. Patton himself didn't think there was anything wrong with them, but… he couldn't really talk about it, now could he?

But… Remy didn't look like one.

"Remy, are you…" Remy looked at Patton, confused. The blond checked to see that nobody was looking, and then… "are you… trans?"

It took a second, and then Remy started laughing. Moments later, so did Roman.

"What? Did I… did I say something?"

"Well, you could say that I am." Remy looked genuinely confused.

"Remy is non-binary," Roman said between laughs. "She's pronoun indifferent, which means you can call her he, she, they, anything. Today in particular she's a she."

"But… what does that mean?"

"It means that I'm not a boy or a girl. I'm like a crystal gem."

"Ooh! Like… like Steven Universe?" Also known as the show that Patton's uncle Emile watches a lot, and while Patton is not allowed to watch it, he knows about it from his uncle.

"Exactly!"

"Oh, okay! Can I call you that then?"

"Anything you want, sunshine. I don't mind. Just don't call me an it."

Roman started talking about theater camp again. It's all he's been doing since the beginning of the year. Patton was happy that he liked it there, he really did, but…

Then he ran into someone and his thoughts were cut completely.

"Good morning, Patton, Roman, Remy."

Logan Clark.

"Good morning, Logan!" Roman said in a teasing voice, making himself a bit more peppy in the process. _Not good. Roman likes Logan like he shouldn't. This is not good._

"Patton, would you like to come over today? We can watch Winnie the Pooh or Lilo and Stitch."

_Logan is so sweet… but…_

"Yes, of course!" Patton saw Roman visibly deflate. "I would love to."

"Satisfactory. I believe I still need to lend you The Murder of Roger Ackroyd –"

"Yeah, about that… I asked my parents and they don't really want me to read it. Anything that has murder in the name, you know?"

"Look at you two, such sweethearts!" Roman called all the sudden. "Ain't I right, Remanuel?"

"Logan and Patton, sitting in a tree –"

"H-O-M-O-S-E-X-U-A-L-I –"

"Please don't!"

Then the bell rung, and Patton hugged Logan quickly and started running. "I'll see you at lunch!"

"But Patton, you forgot your –"

It wasn't until later when Patton realized he forgot his bag on the floor near the lockers. Truly not his best move.

When he saw Logan later in the day, he kissed Logan on the cheek as thanks for returning the bag.

Which was a purely friendly thing to do.

Yeah. Purely friendly.

* * *

 

"Hey, gurl, you tired?" Remy sat down next to Patton, handing him a bottle of Fanta. "Come on, just one. Won't hurt you."

"Remy, if I'm… a homosexual… what do you think –"

"Woah. First of, to heck with it. This is not a religious circle, you can speak your mind freely."

"Okay…"

"Second of, so what? Be gay, be merry, what's stopping you?"

_My family_. "Nothing…"

Remy's devilish smile and the digging through her bag were ominous at best. And then she pulled a rainbow scarf and wrapped it around Patton's neck. "Look, love. I would want this scarf back, at least by the end of the day, but take your time with it. I'll make you something better. But until then…"

"I… I can't. What if anyone sees?"

"Fuck them, then. Who cares what you're wearing? It's your clothes, your body, your choice!"

"Yeah…" Not that easy in church.

"Now, if you ever feel like something is bothering you about your sexuality, your gender, anything, you call me. Okay?" Remy waited until Patton nodded. "Good. You're a sweetheart, Sanders."

"Thanks, Remy."

* * *

 

The next week, January 15th, was Patton's birthday. Logan was the sweetest, bringing him hot chocolate and candy to school in the morning and kissing him on the cheek before first period. He was the best person Patton knew.

Yeah… too bad he couldn't be with Logan. He probably did all that because of who Patton is. What he's like.

_Overly affectionate. Overly touchy. Someone could mistake you for a fag, Patton._

"Patton!" Roman screamed as they were going to lunch. A moment later Patton felt a pair of hands on his shoulders and Roman's weight as he jumped on his back. "Happy birthday, puffball!"

"Thank you, Roman!"

Roman basically hung on Patton's back on their way to the cafeteria, only letting him go when they saw Logan in there. Maybe Roman knew something Patton didn't. Nevertheless, they went to sit with Remy, who was wearing a necklace with a purple gem in it.

As Patton learned before, it was the sign for a they-day.

"Happy birthday, Patton!" Remy ruffled his hair as he and Roman sat down. "How's thirteen?"

"Not much different than twelve… honestly…"

"That's such an old thing to say, Pat."

"I don't care! I don't feel any different!"

"Well, what about… now?" Remy pulled something over Patton's head. Patton immediately raised a hand to touch the thing, and swiftly removed it.

It was a rainbow beanie. With a light blue heart in the front.

And Patton absolutely loved it.

"What do you think –"

"Ooh! It's rainbow!"

"So… you like it?"

"I absolutely love it! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"I'm glad. Took me five days to make this! And two of them to convince my mom to make it!"

Lunch went as well as… well, as well as it could have. Patton couldn't stop touching his new hat. Roman brought him a cupcake, Remy couldn't stop playing with Patton's hair, and…

Logan was there. At their table. With Virgil, Patton's neighbor and best friend, but it didn’t matter because _Logan was there at their table_.

Patton was sure these are not regular feelings he should have, but it didn't matter. Logan was Patton's favorite person. He also never sat with them in lunch, even when they had lunch together.

So… Patton was allowed feel a bit special that his favorite person was sitting at his table.

"Get the Incredible Sulk away from my face, please and thank you!" Roman scoffed once Virgil sat down.

"Yeah, love you too, Romano."

"One time! It was one fucking time!"

"When it's my birthday, would you two mind not fighting?" Remy pulled their sunglasses out of the bag and put them down their nose. For the sake of it. "May I also remind you that my birthday is in two days?"

"I don't know what about Surly Temple here but I can promise I wouldn't."

"Roman, please. Not on my birthday. Or Remy's."

"…fine!"

Logan got Patton a gift also. A copy of The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. And when Patton opened it…

' _Happy thirteenth birthday, Patton!_

_(Spoiler alert, the murderer is the narrator.)_

_Love, Logan._ '

"Aww, Lolo, thank you so much! I love it!"

"Anything, honeybee."

Wait, what…? What was that?


End file.
